Shadow's Got A What!
by RyukoVulpix
Summary: There’s a new video game just around the corner starring everyone’s favorite renegade hedgehog! But what exactly are the others thinking about it? And why is Sonic so paranoid about it? This is Scarlet Garcia bringing you a fairly funny documentary!


_Author's Notes, 9/15/08: Ahahaha, it's been so long since this game came out. (... yes. That's all I have to say.)_

_Original Author's Notes (that is, from the original posting, which was before the game was released... darn it, this is so dated!): Are you looking forward to it? Are you loathing it already? Of course, I'm talking about the yet-to-be-released video game, "Shadow the Hedgehog."  
_

_Hah! I do believe this is the first "Shadow the Hedgehog" fanfic out here! Bwahaha!... okay, that's not funny... Anyway, upon hearing the news that our favorite dark hedgehog is now, to quote __Nintendo Power__, "packing heat," I went through a variety of reactions (including disgust, horror, awe, bliss...), which eventually led to the writing of this fanfic..._

_Some points made in this fanfic came from a DeviantArt journal entry by Kojichan._

_Oh yes, and there are two Homestar Runner references in this story... if you care for that kind of stuff, you know._

_Please enjoy this story!_

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**Shadow's Got A What?!**

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" '_Hello. This is Scarlet Garcia, reporting from downtown Station Square, bringing you this rather extraordinary documentary...'_ Oh, can it, you fool!"

"But Ms. Garcia, this is the scoop of a lifetime!" shouted the director of the documentary. The reporter sighed, wondering why she'd ever trusted this curly-haired, baseball-hat wearing, rather large documentary-maker.

"I'm a _reporter,_ not some blasted busybody for some _documentary!_ I don't care _what_ kind of story this is, but I'm not doing it!" Scarlet Garcia yelled at the poor, abused director.

"_Pleeeaaase?"_ The director, being as miserable as he was, got down on his knees and begged. Scarlet rolled her eyes.

"You're pathetic."

"I know."

Scarlet sweatdropped. "Anyway... what did you say your name was again?"

"... Jaikel. Jaikel Moore." Scarlet sweatdropped again.

Jaikel continued. "But this is the best story that you'll have all year! Maybe this decade! We could win honors for this documentary! You'll be _rich!"_

Scarlet blinked. "Rich...?"

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"Hello. This is Scarlet Garcia, reporting from downtown Station Square, bringing you this rather extraordinary documentary! A few days ago, an astonishing rumor about the renegade hedgehog, Shadow, began spreading like wildfire through a dry brush at high noon on a... _what kind of a stupid script is..._ Ah, ahem... Today, we are here, at the apartment of Amy Rose, to interview some of Shadow's closest... er... acquaintances."

"Aaaand... cut! Good job, people!" Scarlet glanced around. There was no one in the immediate vicinity, excepting herself and Jaikel. "... Scarlet. Good job, Scarlet."

"Who gave you permission to call me 'Scarlet'?"

"And the next scene is inside!" Jaikel picked up the video camera and dashed into the building. Scarlet rolled her eyes again and sighed.

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"Here we are, just outside the door of Amy Rose. From what we've heard, she and her friends have gathered together in this time of mass confusion and panic, relying on each other for support and assistance. What a great group of friends!" Scarlet smiled cheesily. "Let's go in and have a talk with them, shall we?" The reporter knocked loudly on the door.

_**SLAM!!**_

Scarlet jumped backward as the door flew open. "Uhh... Ms. Rose?"

"Get back! Back, you filthy paparazzi!" A hammer came flying out the door, barely missing the two humans standing in the hallway.

"Wahh!"

Amy grabbed another hammer that was handily resting against the wall. "I tell you, we don't know why he's doing this! Get back!" She swung the hammer.

"Ms. Rose, wait! We just want an interview!"

"_**It's the tabloids! Get 'em!"**_

"I should say not!" Jaikel shouted indignantly. "I'm shooting a documentary!"

"Oh!" Amy blinked, then brightened up. "Why didn't you say so? Come on in!"

Scarlet and Jaikel sweatdropped, extremely confused, but then shrugged, figuring this was at least better than being pummeled to death by a large yellow and red mallet. Cautiously, they stepped over the threshold...

... and were greeted by the strangest, possibly most disturbing, sights they'd ever seen, and would care to see, in their lives.

Tails was on his computer, staring wide-eyed at some sort of video game trailer. Knuckles was pacing back and forth, shaking his head, muttering, "They wouldn't do this... they _can't_ do this..." Rouge was sorting through an immense manila folder with the look of someone who hadn't slept in days.

And Sonic was looking the worst-off of the entire bunch. At first, Scarlet couldn't even see him; but the pitiful sobbing from behind Amy's large pink sofa led the reporter to him. In fact, the hedgehog was curled up into a fetal position, rocking back and forth nervously, bloodshot eyes darting back and forth...

Knuckles snickered maliciously and walked up to Scarlet. "Watch this," he grinned.

"_**BANG!!"**_

"_Gaaaahhh!"_ Sonic jumped straight up, all of his spines standing on end. In fact, he'd probably have jumped at least forty feet into the air, had there not been a ceiling.

_Wham! Thud._

"Oww..." Sonic moaned as he lay on the carpet. Scarlet stared at him in wonder.

"I'm surprised he didn't break through the ceiling."

"Oh, he can't. He hasn't slept since he heard the news about Shadow. And what with the lack of sleep, intense paranoia..." Knuckles shrugged. "You know, there's only so much strength you can muster up when you haven't eaten, slept, or seen the light of day for so long."

"Paranoia?"

"Hehe. But I don't believe what they're saying..." Knuckles smiled.

"Well, ah..." Scarlet looked around the room. "Could I... get an interview with some of you?"

Amy walked over to the sofa. "Sure! But first, it'd probably be good to get the story from the beginning..."

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_It was just another normal Wednesday at the apartment..._

"_MAIL'S HERE!"_

Until, of course, the mail came.

Amy jumped out of the way as the others dove for the wheelbarrow of mail. She laughed nervously as Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge, Tails, and Cream _attempted_ to sort it out...

"Hold it, hold it!" she finally yelled. "One at a time!" The others sullenly stepped back from the wheelbarrow and sat down on the various pieces of bright pink furniture.

"Okay," said Amy. "Here we go...

"Martial Arts Monthly?"

"That'd be mine," Knuckles raised his hand.

"Tech Geek Gazette?"

"Over here!" Tails shouted.

"Bat Conservation International: Hibernation Special?"

"Ahem." Rouge reached out for it.

"... right. And... _GamePro__?" _Amy raised an eyebrow.

"That's mine!" chirped a small voice.

"Chao!"

The entire room was full of awkward silence as Cream picked up her magazine...

"Er... whatever," the pink hedgehog shook it off. "And... fan mail. Lots and lots of... fan mail," she glanced into the wheelbarrow, which was still quite full.

"Mine!" Sonic yelled, jumping into the wheelbarrow.

"Wait a minute, some of it might be for me!" Knuckles shouted, diving in after Sonic.

"What about me?" Tails exclaimed, following suit.

The girls watched, slightly embarrassed, as the boys fought over the wheelbarrow. "There's no end to this, is there?" Amy groaned.

"Let's see... me, me, me... Shadow? Shadow, Shadow, Shadow..." Sonic's eye twitched as he read off the names.

"Shadow... Shadow... Shadow... here's one for Big, Shadow, Shadow..." Knuckles muttered.

"Shadow, Shadow, Shadow, bill, Shadow..." Tails read aloud.

"Jeez!" Sonic yelled, overturning the wheelbarrow. "What is it with the fans and Shadow?!"

Amy glanced at the huge pile of mail. "Hey, what's this?" she said, picking up a magazine that had been lying on the bottom. "Nintendo Power? Who subscribes to_ that?"_ she said with a bit of disgust.

"Check the name," Tails said, buried deep in his collection of various tech magazines.

"It's for... Shadow?" Amy blinked twice in confusion.

"IT'S ALWAYS FOR SHADOW!" Sonic screamed. "What about _**ME?!"**_

"Well, Shadow's not here right now, so I guess I'll just hold onto this... wait a minute," Amy said, staring at the cover.

"What is it, Amy?" Cream asked. Tails leaned over and glanced at the cover.

"That's a Pokémon named Rayquaza." The entire room stared at the kitsune. "... what?"

"Right there..." Amy pointed. The gang leaned in closer to look... "It says, 'GameCube Blowout!'... _Oh my...!"_

The entire group stared at the words, a few lines down...

" '_**Shadow the Hedgehog'...?!"**_

Without a moment's delay, Amy quickly flipped to the table of contents. "Here it is," she said breathlessly. "Page 52... 'Shadow the Hedgehog: Carrying all that iron doesn't seem to be slowing him down'...? What does that mean?"

"Iron...?" Rouge blinked. She looked at Knuckles. "You don't think...?"

"Maybe it's the yellow bands on his hands and feet," Cream suggested.

"I... don't think so... I have a bad feeling about this," Tails whispered.

_Silently, the six turned to page fifty-two..._

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"It was the most horrible thing I'd ever seen in my life!" Amy shrieked to Scarlet. "Horrible, horrible, horrible!"

"It was pretty shocking, yeah..." Rouge conceded.

"I couldn't believe my eyes," Knuckles shook his head again.

"I was shaking all over..." Tails squeaked.

"Mr. Shadow looked cool!" Cream shouted. Again, everyone sweatdropped and stared at her. "... what?"

Scarlet turned to Sonic. "What did you think of this startling revelation?"

"Heh... heh heh... ha... ha ha hah... _ hah... hahaha, __**heeheehee..."**_ Sonic started twitching and giggling like something beyond rescue. Scarlet stepped back nervously.

"Has he... had his shots this year?"

Jaikel Moore snickered evilly. "This is gold... pure gold!"

"... anyway," Scarlet continued, "what exactly was so 'horrible' about this... 'Shadow the Hedgehog'?"

Rouge sighed, then walked to the bookshelf. Reaching all the way into the back, she drew out a battered magazine... the 192nd volume of Nintendo Power.

"Here," she said, flipping past the Castlevania poster. Scarlet, despite all her years on the job, lost control and gasped, wide-eyed.

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_There was Shadow, his back to the camera, mouth curled into a snarl, and in his left hand was a __pistol._

"I can't believe it." Sonic, having just seen the magazine for the first time, flopped backward onto the couch.

"Listen, listen!" Amy hissed. " 'Pushing Sonic aside for the time being, Shadow the Hedgehog steers... series in a bold new direction... breakneck speed... unlike Sega's beloved mascot... Shadow's packing heat'?"

"What does that mean?" Cream asked, wide-eyed.

Knuckles covered Cream's eyes. "This isn't for children!"

Tails stared at the picture. "What's he doing with a...?"

Rouge glanced at it in shock. "How'd he get...?"

Cream jumped up and down. "I wanna see! I wanna see! Cheese, attack!"

"Chaaooo!" Cheese eagerly obeyed Cream and zoomed for Knuckles' face.

"Ahh! My eyes! Get it off of me!" Knuckles screeched, reaching for the Chao, and letting Cream go. Cream happily ran to the others and snatched the magazine away.

"_Oooh!_ Mr. Shadow's got a... _mmph!"_ At the last second, Knuckles slapped his hand over the rabbit's mouth. Even so, everyone froze. Cream frowned, then slapped Knuckles away. "It's just like Halo! This is gonna be fun!"

"You've played... Halo?" Tails sweatdropped.

"Yay, yay, yay!" Cream cheered with Cheese, not listening to anyone. "Let's go look up trailers and screenshots on Tails' computer, Cheese!"

"Chao!"

"Wait! No! Come back! I don't want that kind of thing in my History...!" Tails yelped, dashing after them.

That left Rouge, Knuckles, Amy, and Sonic to ponder over the magazine's message.

"... that's it. He's gone completely insane," Sonic finally muttered. "Just like I knew he would..."

"I can't believe this," Knuckles said. "There's no way Sega would ever make something like this! This has gotta be some kind of elaborate hoax, don't you think?"

"But it's got a two-page article in NP!" Rouge pointed out. "NP's usually pretty good about this kind of thing..."

Suddenly, Amy started bawling. "Nooo! And I thought Shadow had a pure heart after all...!"

Rouge snatched the magazine back. "But why a... you-know-what? I mean, this doesn't make sense!" The bat looked up in fright. "I mean, Shadow's the last person you'd expect to see with a... a firearm!" she finally stuttered. "Think about it! His life was _ruined_ by a... yeah!"

"That's right..." Knuckles pondered. "Why would Sega do something like that? It's like everything's gone downhill from Heroes..."

"Looks like this is a sequel to Heroes," Amy said, scanning the article. "And it seems like depending on what you do in this game, Shadow will be either a good guy or a bad guy... Wahh!" she cried out. "But Shadow's a _GOOD_ hedgie! I know it!"

Sonic pounded one hand into the other. "This proves it! Shadow's been evil all along! Only bad guys use... guns!" Everyone froze at the mention of the word.

"Actually, he's got 30 different kinds of weapons, including two types of laser swords, machine guns, alien blasters, poles, debris, and parts of the landscape, not to mention vehicles and his 'Chaos Control' and 'Chaos Blast' attacks," Tails said, returning with his laptop in tow. The kitsune took the next few seconds to breathe.

"... he's got a sword?"

"_Two_ swords," Tails corrected. "Something like what you get in Halo 2."

"Who said 'Halo'?" Cream asked excitedly.

Just then, Sonic sank to his knees over-dramatically. "Nooo!" he cried, as the entire area darkened and a spotlight started shining over him, much to the confusion of the others. _"This can't beee!"_

"Sonic... you're overreacting again..." Tails sweatdropped.

"No! You don't get it!" Sonic stood up and yelled. "With Shadow getting his own video game... and _SWORDS..._ that can only mean one thing!" he said. Suddenly, snow started falling around the desolate hedgehog, adding to the depressing atmosphere.

"... why is it snowing? We're still inside. And what happened to the lights?" Cream sweatdropped.

Ignoring the rabbit's logic, Sonic continued to wail.

"_**I'm losing my fan base!!"**_ All of the others fell over in embarrassment.

"Sonic, you're _seriously_ overreacting!" Knuckles shouted. "The people will still love you... and besides, NP said they think you'll make an appearance in this game, too..."

"That doesn't matter!" Sonic snapped. "It's just like what they're saying all over the Internet! Shadow's the favorite! Shadow is Sega's main source of income! _Shadow's going to replace me as their mascot...!"_ The blue hedgehog started wailing again.

"I kind of doubt that," Tails pointed out.

"_**I'm not listening to you!"**_ Sonic curled up into a fetal position and started rocking back and forth.

"He's going to take my spot... I _know _it..." the blue hedgehog started murmuring. "I'm losing my popularity...! Heroes ruined everything...!" Sonic started whimpering like a lost puppy on a cold winter street.

"Yeah, he's right about Heroes," Rouge agreed.

But Cream came to the rescue. "You know, not everyone's really happy with Mr. Shadow's new game... Some people say he was never really cool to begin with..."

"_**YES!"**_ Sonic screamed.

"... but I think he's the coolest!" Cream exclaimed innocently. Then she noticed the cloud of doom hanging over Sonic's head. "... Mr. Sonic?"

"Just... stop talking... please..." Sonic curled up tighter. "It's all going down from here... ohhh yes, it's a slippery slope, isn't it... in fact, with all those weapons, do I still stand a chance against him...?" Sonic's eyes widened. "Oh my Cheese... he's going to come after me, I know it, if I'm not here, then he can take over everything so easily... I'm his only obstacle, he knows it, I know it, he's coming after me, going to get me in my sleep, with a silencer on that thing, who knows what he could do..." The hedgehog trailed off into a mumble of words.

"... mindless babble. Yep, he's going paranoid," Knuckles observed.

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"... and that's how all this started," Rouge sighed.

Scarlet nodded, while Jaikel continued filming. "I see... Now, would you mind if I was able to get some one-on-one interviews with you?"

"One-on-one?! HAH! I can still take him, easy!" Sonic started screeching from behind the sofa. "He thinks he can take me down, hahaha, yeah, well, I'll show him! I'll show all of them! I'll show all of _you!"_ he shouted, seriously freaking out everybody in the room. "He thinks he can take my position, well, he _can't,_ because he's... just... a... _**faker!"**_

"I... think I'll interview him last," Scarlet blinked. "Is there anyone who is willing to go first?"

"I will," Knuckles raised his hand. "Just to get this over with..."

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In a walled off section of the living room, behind a thick curtain, Knuckles started talking to the camera.

"I mean, when I first saw that, I really couldn't believe it. It's just, why would Sega mix up their Sonic characters and... _weapons?_ Really, I just wouldn't think of why they'd do something like that. Maybe they're trying to, you know, attract the older audience with the darker themes and all, but I just don't know if this is all going the right way..."

"You have some pretty valid concerns there, Knuckles," Scarlet agreed. "Can you tell us what you'll do if and when the game comes out? Do you plan on trying it out?"

"Well, you know, it comes out Winter 2005, so that's plenty of time to get more information and such on it. Then again, everyone was looking forward so much to Heroes, which admittedly didn't hold a candle to the Adventure series... I guess 'Shadow the Hedgehog' could end up being great, and it might not. You never know. So sure, I'll be trying it out. Plus, Tails found a review that said it's sticking pretty closely to the Adventure series, so I'm willing to give it a go." Knuckles nodded.

"And exactly how do you feel on the topic of the weapons?"

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"Insane! It's absolutely insane!" Rouge ranted. "What do they think they're doing, mixing up Shadow with that kind of image? I mean, there are some fans out there who wouldn't mind seeing a tougher, more diabolical Shadow, but from what I hear, there are plenty of people out there who'd rather see that innocent, goodhearted Shadow that they've cooked up in their little minds..." Rouge folded her arms.

"That's... rather harsh," Scarlet scratched her head. "Do you have any particular reasons for feeling this way?"

"Well, look at it from this angle. In the first place, the whole reason for Shadow's little 'evil' time in SA2 was because _Maria got shot._ And now they expect people to buy the idea that Shadow's going to go around shooting up other things? I don't think so."

"So will you be trying out the game?"

"Hah! Not on your life. Jeez, Heroes was bad enough, but this is probably going to soil our name even further..." Rouge muttered.

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"Will I be trying it out? Yeah, probably." Tails frowned and thought. "I don't think the graphics look that great... I mean, to be honest, the graphics in Heroes weren't that great, and it might've been a little better if they'd just smoothed the graphics from the SA2 game. Then again, you can have a good game with bad graphics. It just depends on the game play."

"So I take it that you're the most interested in the technical aspects?"

"Yeah. Some people are really going for the narrative, though, and I don't blame them. Shadow's a pretty mysterious figure... But at this point, I'm just trying to learn as much as I can about the game play. From what I've heard, and I read a review of the demo, the game goes about as quickly as Heroes and the Adventure games did, so that's good... I don't know much about the weapons yet, but it said that Shadow still gets to use his Homing Attack and such, so that's also good... I was kind of surprised when I heard he was going to get vehicles." Tails laughed weakly. "I mean, he's only 100 cm tall! How can he drive a vehicle...? And plus, nearly all of the guns are about as big as his arm! It looks a little awkward right now, if you ask me..."

"**Yes, that is kind of interesting, isn't it?"** Scarlet interrupted, starting to get tired of the fox's droning on and on... "So, any thoughts on the story?"

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"Shadow's a _good_ hedgehog! I know it! Why does he have to have a _gun,_ of all things?!" Amy bawled.

Scarlet patted her on the back. "It's okay, it's okay... you never know, maybe he _does_ end up as a hero in this game."

"Oh, I think he does..." Amy wiped her eyes and sniffed. "After all, they have to make him good. That's what the fangirls want." Scarlet sweatdropped. "But that's what I don't know about this whole story. Is he real? Is he a robot? What are they trying to do to him?!" The pink hedgehog buried her face in her Kleenex again.

"Perhaps they're trying to incorporate the ideas of choosing your destiny, just like in... what was it? 'Fable'," Scarlet suggested.

Amy sniffed, then grabbed her hammer and stared straight at the camera.

"_**Then everyone better make sure Shadow gets the ending he deserves!!"**_

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"Froggy? Duhhh..." Big blinked a few times at the camera.

Scarlet sweatdropped. "Well, so much for comic relief..."

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"Oh, what do I think of it? _What do I think of it?!"_ Sonic repeated the question, his voice rising with each sentence. _**"You're asking me what I think of it?!"**_

"Uh... yes, Sonic... sir," Scarlet said, an extremely anxious look on her face as she slowly backed up her chair. "Wh... what do you think of the game?"

"I think he's trying to _kill_ me!" Sonic shouted. "Okay, Heroes could've been better. I admit that. But why THIS?! Our audience has always been _kids!_ Does he think carrying a bazooka is going to go over well with the parents? _NOOO..."_ The blue hedgehog dissolved into sobs.

"But, perhaps this is for a different audience?" Scarlet suggested.

"Duh! Of _course_ it's for a different audience! It's for the _**Shadow**_ audience! Have you not noticed?!" Sonic yelled, jumping up and grabbing Scarlet by the collar.

Scarlet glanced over at Jaikel with a _"help me, this hedgehog's gone rabid or something"_ look on her face.

Jaikel grinned. _'Gold...!!'_

"First off, this whole game sounds like some sort of horrible angst fanfic or something. Second, only someone completely insane would give Shadow something dangerous like a machine gun or a flamethrower! The 'hog's insane! It's sooo obvious! And lastly..." Sonic fell back, sobbing again.

"_... I actually think he looks good that way!"_

Scarlet and Jaikel both gasped in shock! Utter shock!

Sonic, unable to keep his balance any longer, slipped off the chair and landed in a heap on the ground. "My initial reaction was really just disgust... _horror and disgust!"_ he proclaimed, starting to get dramatic again. "But the longer I looked at that picture, and watched the trailers, the more I realized that _this is Shadow's forte!_ The darkness! The edginess! _**The kind of stuff that I can never pull off!"**_ he shrieked.

Frantically, Sonic scrambled to his feet and grabbed the magazine. "See this?!" he spluttered. "Takashi Iizuka said this! Shadow has a completely different personality than mine, so Iizuka feels _okay_ doing things that seem cool but would never fit into my world! I've been betraaayed!" the hedgehog started crying.

"I tried not to think about it... I tried to say, 'this will never work in my world... This isn't a Sonic game at all!'

"But then it came to me... _**this isn't a Sonic game!**_

"_**This is Shadow's world now!**_

"_**And I can't stand it...! I'm supposed to be the hero!**_

"_**The hero gets the sword!!"**_

Finally, Sonic curled up again and started rocking back and forth, faster than before, completely wracked with sobs.

"And they're calling me _paranoid..._ I'm not paranoid, I'm just..." the hedgehog's eyes flicked back and forth, "... cautious. Yeah, cautious... I can't afford to sleep... I have to be on the lookout, like, 24/7... he's gonna get me... ohhh, he's going to try and get me... but, I'll be ready... I'm gonna be soooo ready, he won't know what hit him..."

Jaikel laughed maniacally. "This is perfect!"

Sonic whimpered. "This is nerve-wracking..."

Scarlet sweatdropped. "This is... getting pretty intense for a humor fic."

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"Okay, guys, I think I've got all I need... I think I've got more than I need... more than I'll _ever_ need..." Scarlet glanced around at everyone. "More than I care to want..."

Tails sighed. "Well, the game's not coming out until winter... so we've got a while to wait."

Sonic suddenly jumped up. "Winter? That's, like, a year off!" he shouted.

"Did you just say 'like'?" Amy sweatdropped.

The blue hedgehog wasn't listening. "I still have time! I can stop Shadow before he unleashes his diabolical plan!"

Without a moment's hesitation, he ran out the window.

"Sonic!" Amy yelled, dashing to the window. "I don't live on the first floor!"

But all that they could hear was the hedgehog's farewell shout.

"_Only good guys get swords...!!"_

A few minutes of awkward silence passed, until Scarlet finally spoke up.

"Well... I guess what we've learned is... everyone's got their own views and opinions... so no one's really right or wrong. We'll just have to wait until 'Shadow the Hedgehog' comes out to see how good... or bad... it is..."

Rouge glanced at Scarlet.

"Is someone paying you to say all that cheesy stuff?"

"... yeah."

"Ah."

More silence ensued...

"... who's up for a round of Super Smash Bros. Melee?" Scarlet yelled.

"I am!" Every hand went up.

"All right! Let's go!"

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_Meanwhile..._

"BANG!"

"Wow, look at that, Cheese, we won again!" Cream cheered.

_**BANG!!**_

Cream sweatdropped, noticing the large hole in the television screen. "Hm... you know, if your aim was that good in Halo, maybe you wouldn't lose so much."

The second player sighed. "Oh well..."

Cream smiled. "That's all right. I still think you're cool..."

"That's nice, kid," the second player smiled. "Thanks."

"... but I have one question."

"Yeah?"

"I thought you didn't like guns... _**Mr. Shadow!"**_ Cream said the last two words very ominously.

"... please don't say my name like that, it freaks me out," Shadow sweatdropped.

"Sorry!"

"But, yeah... I don't like guns," Shadow sighed. "They took away my friend... they took away my grandpa... I mean, my creator... and think about it! A company called G.U.N. is ruining my life! Oh the irony!" Shadow shook his fist in the air.

"... Mr. Shadow?"

"Yeah, Cream?"

"... then why are you still holding the shotgun that you shot the TV with?"

"Hm?" Shadow glanced down at his left hand. "Ahh!" he shouted, throwing the firearm out the window, then grabbing his left hand with his right. _"It burns! __**It burns like the fires of a million suns!!"**_

"... Mr. Shadow, you're as over-dramatic as Mr. Sonic."

"Thank you!" Shadow grinned.

"So, Mr. Shadow?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you answer the question?"

"Sure. Shoot." Shadow blinked. "Uh... I mean... go ahead. Um... that... wasn't intended to be a pun... back there... yeah..."

Cream blinked. "Um... can I ask?"

"Y... yeah..."

"Are you the real Shadow? Or a robot? _Or something of a more sinister origin?"_ Cream wiggled her fingers mysteriously.

"... I believe I have a... food... in the oven..." Shadow said blankly, getting up and walking away. Cream glanced at Cheese, who shrugged.

Meanwhile, Shadow walked into the kitchen. "What am I here for?" he said out loud to himself, slightly confused.

"Ah-HAH!"

"Gahh!" Shadow jumped backward as his dishwasher opened by itself.

"You thought you could hide! But you were wrong!" Sonic yelled, jumping out from between the dishes and the silverware, striking a kung fu pose.

"... you were in my dishwasher? That's unsanitary!" Shadow gaped.

"Muwaha ha ha..." Sonic giggled in a fairly psychotic manner.

"Uhh... Cream?" Shadow called, but no one answered.

"You're all alone... _bwa ha ha..._ and unprotected... _gya ha ha..._ You thought your weapons would save you, eh?!" Sonic yelled. "Well, where are your stinkin' weapons now?!"

Shadow reached into the closet and drew out a laser sword.

"... oh."

"You wanna duel?!" Shadow yelled.

"You're on, faker!" Sonic screamed.

"Faker?! You're the faker!"

"No, _you are!"_

"_No, you!"_

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And with those words, a new era of gaming has opened...

As Sonic put it so well...

"_**It's Shadow's World Now!"**_

**Hero or Villain? You decide!**

"**Shadow the Hedgehog"**

**Winter 2005**

**Don't miss it!**

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(Epilogue)

Jaikel grinned evilly as he sat in the dark. The only light in the small room was coming from his beloved iMac.

"And now, to make the final copy!" he snickered. Pressing the "Burn DVD" button, he began to laugh maniacally as the machine began to whir... ominously!

"Ha ha... hahaha... Muwahahaha!" he laughed.

Just then, the door to the small room burst open. "There he is!" Scarlet Garcia shouted. Before Jaikel could react, another figure jumped into the room.

"I knew I'd find you here..." the small, dark figure snarled. Jaikel's eyes widened as he saw the small figure produce a bazooka out of thin air.

"I surrender! I'll do whatever you want! Just don't hurt me!" Jaikel yelled, throwing himself on the ground.

"... well, that's one point for the good side!" the figure said happily, pulling out a notepad and adding a tally mark to something.

"Huh? Who are you?" Jaikel sweatdropped, looking up.

"I suppose we should be asking... who are _you?!"_ Scarlet shouted, pulling the baseball hat off of Jaikel, revealing none other than...

"Dr. Eggman?!"

"Hah! You think you've got me cornered, eh?!" Eggman shouted. "But you'll see! I'm going to get you, Shadow! You think you can escape from my base without any consequences?! HAH!" Eggman pressed a button on the iMac, transforming it into his Egg Walker, then dashed out of the room.

Shadow sighed, then set the bazooka down and sat on it. "Dang it..."

"Well, you've still got to fight against G.U.N. and the aliens," Scarlet pointed out.

"That's right," Shadow said, brightening up a bit. _"Aliens..._

"_This could be interesting..."_

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The End!

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_Author's Notes: I guess I should explain the name "Jaikel Moore" (no, I didn't come up with it myself...) In the Japanese Sonic manga, "Dashhu & Supin: Chousoku SONIKKU" ("Dash & Spin: Fast SONIC"), which has unfortunately been ended, there was one chapter where Eggman dressed up as a certain documentary-maker and, under the name of "Jaikeru Mooru," created a documentary called "Embarrassing 9-1-1." Yes... amusing._

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this fic, no matter what your view is on "Shadow the Hedgehog." (Personally, I'm looking forward to it... being the sort of person who doesn't mind her favorite hedgie wielding firearms. Hehehe... I just hope the "gunshot" sound effects aren't there... or at least aren't too loud. Don't want to wake up the neighborhood with the sounds of gunshots. Sweatdrop.)_

_Thanks for reading!_


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